I'm seriously considering hosting Amber, a 23yo transgirl who until recently lived in Maryland, here at Hypertwin Manor.
I've never done anything like this before, and I'm looking for more options.
She flew to visit a friend in Texas a couple of weeks ago (I think the friend paid for the ticket), but now her mom -- who always wanted her out of the house, disparages her constantly, and misgenders her -- is saying she can't go home.
I'm going to make my opinion very clear to you. I don't like what you're doing and I don't approve of it, and I won't accept it. I will just tolerate it - barely - because there's nothing else I can do about it.
-- Amber's mom, re being trans
She hasn't actually bought a return ticket yet; she could fly into RDU in ~2 weeks and I could pick her up. That part is easy
The problem is that this is bound to be a huge anxiety issue for @Harena Atria
(my hypertwin aka partner), plus we won't really have a room for her until late August. (Amber is perfectly willing to sleep on the couch or the floor or whatever; it's more the awkwardness of sharing our common space with someone we barely know.)
My thinking is that Harena might
be willing/able to deal with this if she knew we had a backup plan -- somewhere else for Amber to go if H's anxiety won't go away after getting to know her, or if any other substantial problems arise. As yet, though, I can't think of anyone I could ask.
Amber seems perfectly willing and able to start looking for a job as soon as she gets here, so as to support herself, and has said she'll work any job that will have her (grocery bagging, whatever) though she would be particularly qualified to work in a gaming store. She doesn't drive, but can bicycle -- I can loan her my bike for that purpose, and there's a large number of entry-level employers within biking distance (including a couple of gaming stores).
She has also clearly stated that she's willing to help with chores around the house, which is something we could really use. So this could
be of great mutual benefit, if it works out.
Half the time I think I really shouldn't be taking this on, at least not now... and half the time I think it could work out. ...but even when I'm thinking it's a bad idea, I also can't not sympathize with her terror over having no place to go, no home to return to. I feel seriously torn.
I think it ultimately comes down to really needing an exit plan, mainly for Harena's sake.
I'm looking for ideas and advice.